Excuses don’t live here no more

My initial plan for this post was a long explanation of why I’ve been on a writing hiatus, all the crazy that happened, how in the new year I plan to go back, & maybe I’ll do that in another post. It never felt right – never felt like the message i needed to put on paper.  Then, one of the motivational tracks on my run mix came on and I ended up replaying it multiple times. The track was exactly what I needed on my long run, but more so, it was what I needed to inspire me and spur my writing.

For the last couple of months (11.5 to be exact), I struggled to find the consistency in my training I came to expect over the years.  I have not been in the “zone,” and it colored my mood, motivation, and expectations.  Maintaining a high level of fitness – even when not specifically training for something – was my normal before my pregnancy in 2017, and even throughout it.  Postpartum,  I struggled mentally, not just physically, to get back into the shape/fitness level of which I was accustomed.

I was frustrated I didn’t have additional time to train, and in fact, had less. My body was not recovering as quickly from my workouts – likely from the continuously interrupted sleep – forcing me to take an even slower approach to training. Tie that together with a very busy and demanding work year, and I clearly had a recipe for disaster (e.g. making excuses for why I didn’t have time for my planned workout or why I shortened it, or why a nap was more important). Barring a big work or child issue, I would (most days) put in the work, but it felt exactly that…work…which made it more difficult to motivate to get out the door or into the gym.

As I listened to the motivational track, I realized I was making excuses and giving myself an “out” because it was harder than before. That is not who I am.  Unless I am physically unable to do something, I’ve never quit something I started.  This track urged me to change my mindset so I could enjoy and embrace the effort and process of training, not to mention celebrate the accomplishments.

As I ran with the track beating in my ears, I looked back on the last 2 years and realized I’m pretty bad@ss.  We got and trained a puppy, I PR’d a marathon (3:18 in horrible conditions), found out I was pregnant, miscarried, got unexpectedly pregnant again, held down the fort while the spouse was deployed, had a beautiful and sweet little boy, went back to work after 12 weeks, trained for and raced a marathon 10 months post partum, and I’m currently training for The Boston Marathon (for which I qualified while 21 weeks pregnant).  In writing it down, I can see I’m doing pretty darn well and should be embracing the changes, challenges, process and successes…not make excuses or be frustrated because I have memories when things were easier. 

“Get it done. There are no more excuses. Excuses don’t live here no more. Excuses aren’t invited to this party. Excuses are a virus. Get them out of your life. Responsibility is where you live. Responsibility, accountability, and pure hard work. What do you want to be? Are you going to show some character? Take yourself to another level? The level you deserve? In order to join the 1% you got to be willing to do what the other 99% won’t do.”  – Never Settle (Epic Motivational V2.0)